Since mid-November, I have
been, er, under the weather. Ill in some way, certainly, but not exactly
"sick," as I would characterize it. The week before this malady
began, I had some dental work (a crown), and I had a flu shot. Three days after
the shot, I woke feeling dizzy, achy and with a mild headache. I took a nap
that day—and slept three hours. Despite having slept eight hours the night
before, I was still so sleepy after three hours of napping it was all I could
do to get up and take Thomas out. It was chilly in the house, but I woke
feeling clammy, as if I'd been sweating.
"Dang," I thought,
"this is quite the reaction to that damn flu shot. Thank goodness it will
go away in a couple of days."
But it didn't. After the
symptoms persisted for four weeks (cold sweats, daily dizziness, headaches and
a profound need to sleep excessively—rivaling the number of hours I slept when
I was pregnant), I made an appointment to see my doctor. By the time I saw her,
I'd narrowed my own diagnosis down to either Lyme disease or a brain tumor.
Dr. V. ordered a CT scan, so
no, I don't have a brain tumor. I do have a brain that shows "no
abnormalities." (Comment on that as you will.)
After a second appointment,
here's what I know:
I don't have BPPV (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo) or at least it doesn't seem so.
This is not a neurological
problem—or at least it doesn't seem so.
This is not West Nile Virus—or
at least the doc doesn't think so.
It's not got to do with my
hypo-thyroidism.
There's no infection in my
system, apparently (according to blood tests).
I probably don't have
cancer. (Yay!)
I don't need new glasses (as
Harry R. suggested).
This probably won't go away
if I "relax enough" (as Harry C. suggested).
I'm not dehydrated.
The symptoms worsen
dramatically when I don't nap or if I become overly fatigued.
I'm only posting all that so
that the sleuths among you can get busy thinking and come to some conclusion
that would be a possible diagnosis. (Go ahead. Have at it. Please click on
"comments" below to offer your two cents.)
Anyway, my life has gone on
unabated—thank the Universe. I'm still walking my dog (though I try not to get
too far out in the boonies lest I keel over and Thomas has to find his way home
alone), still writing, still feeling blessed for having the ability to sing
(but not dance because, yeah, too dizzy).
And today I transplanted a
tree. A week ago I mowed the lawn, a chore that hadn't been done in many weeks as
I just didn't trust my body with the task. Today I felt good enough (albeit
somewhat dizzy) to dig up the orange tree that the previous owner had planted
on the shady side of the house. Now it will have more sun and more love and
some prayers that it will re-root itself and finally grow some oranges. If
nothing else, it will give all my little backyard birds a place to sit while
they're taking turns at the feeder.
Since my days of wooziness
began, I've had a song off Rick Shea's new album ("The Town Where I
Live") stuck in my head: "Trouble Like This." It's a catchy
tune, but I think it's been on repeat in my mind because these multiple doctor
visits with no resolution remind me of the fall of 2012; it took three months
before my bronchiectasis was diagnosed. (And that only happened because I
insisted that my doctor order an MRI of my lungs. "Okay," she said,
throwing up her hands, "if that's what you want." Yes, humor me,
please. And what do you know? The MRI revealed the holes in my lungs.)
Rick Shea at a recent concert.
Today, though, my brain worm
switched from Rick's song to a song by Bob Bennett, "Madness Dancing," from his "Matters of the Heart" album. Lordy, I love
this song! And I have for nearly forty years. Consider these lyrics:
In the middle of this
madness I am dancing
Though I'm not sure why just
now
I tried to be sober, tried
to be logical
But I could not stop my
feet.
I know I haven't turned off
my mind...
I know there's evil all
around
But for now it's outside,
and I am in my room
Joy is like a crashing tide.
I don't wanna burn no books
Don't wanna argue rock 'n
roll
I don't wanna shoot anyone
with my high-powered doctrine gun....
That's pretty non-judgmental
for a man who professes to be an evangelical Christian.
At any rate, it's the
crashing tide of joy and the madness of dancing despite all the dire woes in
life that make me love this song and sing it again and again. Especially right
now. I may not be in top form physically, but I am still so blessed to be alive—whether
I can dance right now or not.
