Friendship Circle

 

My new desk buddy

I started to say that it all began with Friendship Circle, but it didn’t. Not quite. Well, sort of.

It began when I moved to my current residence in a senior community. Ella, my neighbor, was quick to introduce herself. Having served on the city council and in various volunteer positions in her community, she was cordial and welcoming and diplomatic. Ella invited me to join her for a luncheon hosted by the Friendship Circle group here in the park. I realized too late that this was a potluck, but Ella assured me that as her guest, I wasn’t required to bring anything—actually, no one is required—and that I could consider doing so if I chose to attend again in the future, which I did.

Two of the first people I met that day were Ursula and Bob Thomas. I don’t believe I’ve ever met two kinder people in my life. Maybe. But…. Bob and Ursula are extraordinary people, warm, kind, intelligent, empathetic—and each one has a great sense of humor. While I did not continue being involved with Friendship Circle after the first few months, I have continued my friendship with the Thomases.

Bob and Ursula like to walk early in the morning, as I do, so there are times when we will see each other at 5:30a.m. (yes, it’s still dark), and we’ll stand in the road and have a chat for ten minutes or so. It was during one of these morning chats that they mentioned their daughter, Shanon, had written a picture book for children. The book, complete with cover design and illustrations, was ready for publication, but Shanon wasn’t sure which route in publishing she wanted to pursue. I offered to help her decide, and I encouraged her parents to give her my number.

When Shanon called, I knew right away we were kindred spirits. Like her parents, she is warm and kind and empathetic. She is also very generous; her sole purpose in making her book available to the public is to encourage young readers to be kind, to look for opportunities to show empathy. The book, Clara’s Scarf, is lovely and sweet (and is available on Amazon).

Fast forward several months, and there I am, looking for an illustrator for my Dragon Singer Series. The search was not going well (that may be a profound understatement), and it occurred to me to talk to Shanon about the illustrator she used for Clara’s Scarf.

And that’s how I met (via email) Allie Myers. I know I keep saying this, but it’s like Allie is reading my mind. When I explain roughly what I want on a cover, she asks, “But what are the kids’ personalities like?” And bingo—she produces a sketch that somehow depicts everything I was feeling when I wrote the scene.

I have been grateful for Allie’s amazing artistry, and for my connection to Shanon, and my continuing friendship with Ursula and Bob. (What amazing parents they must have been to produce such a talented and wonderful kid!!) Then last week Shanon happened to be in town, and Ursula called to see if the two of them could stop by. When they did, Shanon gifted me with the sweet little white dragon pictured at the top of this post. He’s my new desk companion. Friendship! What an inspiration!

May the circle be unbroken, and may it continue to expand as those within it reach out a hand to others.

In memoriam: Dennis Shore

Back in the mid-1970’s when I was still a child…. Okay, when I was still child-like—I sang in church a lot. So much so, in fact, that, in order to increase the repertoire of songs in my song list, I needed to find someone who could play guitar for me. You may already know that I play… a little. But as I have always said, my instrument is my voice. I know enough chords to get me through quite a few tunes, but there were songs I just didn’t have the expertise to play. Which is how I ended up with Rick Linstrom playing lead and Dennis Shore playing bass for me. Or “Mr. Dennis,” I should say.

Rick was a dear friend from my high school days. We had Biology together in summer school, and the guy made me laugh every. single. day. (Not an easy thing for anyone to do in my days of serious depression.) Eventually we both attended Calvary Chapel of Riverside—oops, I mean, Harvest Christian Fellowship (before it was the mega church it is today), which is where I did most of my singing (in addition to weddings, funerals, and the occasional potluck or baby shower). Rick is a seriously good axeman, and he brought along Dennis, whom I had known of in high school but didn’t know well.

We decided immediately that Dennis would need some augmentation to his name, since my husband’s name was Dennis, and things would just get too confusing. So I added the “Mr.” Seemed humorous at the time, but as I got to know him over the months that followed, the name fit him perfectly. He was a big man who deserved—but never demanded or even expected—big respect.

He was a gentleman all the time. The kind that opens doors for others, says please and thank you, rinses his own dishes when he’s finished eating, even if he’s hanging out at a friend’s house. Without saying a word, he would always carry my guitar along with his. Always. He read the paper, knew what was happening in the world and could talk about it. And he loved pizza. He showed up to practice one afternoon carrying a pizza. If you’re envisioning a big man with a baby face and apple cheeks carrying a pizza box, you’ve got everything right except the object in his hand. He was carrying a round pizza pan—because he’d made the pizza at home, just needed to throw it in my oven for a while to cook it. Seriously. Dennis Shore was a Renaissance Man before anyone knew it was cool to be such a person.

He was jovial and sweet and caring. Rick was all those things, too, and both guys brought a certain light into my life that was warm and luminescent and healing.

My husband hated that I sang with them. I don’t think the guys ever knew, but my old man disapproved of our time together practicing, of the songs we rehearsed (and sometimes performed, when we could get a gig)—hell, he disapproved of my use of the term “gig” to describe being scheduled to “share music” at church. It added to the tension in our already tension-filled marriage, and eventually the band broke up.

After that my husband and I moved away, and after that, we broke up, too. Rick and his wife also divorced, so life took all of us in separate directions. For decades.

At some point, I found Rick again, and was happy to know he’d gotten remarried and was still playing music. But I didn’t reconnect with Mr. Dennis until a year ago. I saw a comment he made on Rick’s Facebook page, and I couldn’t believe it was him, after all those years. I messaged him. He messaged back. Some weeks later, we met for lunch. My oh my, what a reunion!

I would’ve recognized the big man anywhere—still with the baby face and the apple cheeks. Still with the smile while holding the door for others as he came into the restaurant. I was thrilled to hear he’d met someone and married. He spent most of lunch talking about how much he loved his wife and how blessed he felt to have her in his life. His path up until recent years had been difficult and treacherous at times. ‘But now I’m settled,’ he told me. ‘My focus is on my family.’ His dad had multiple health issues at the time, and Dennis was making regular trips out of state to care for him. He continued doing so until his father passed away.

Not long after his father passed, Dennis did as well. To say I was shocked is an understatement. He’d told me about some health issues his wife had been having, and he asked me to keep her in my prayers. He never said a thing about himself. He died suddenly several weeks ago. That lunch—the first time I’d seen him in nearly 40 years—was the last time I ever saw him. We’d talked about meeting again, but we never made it happen.

Life holds no guarantees, my friends. Dennis was a year younger than me. He seemed fine when I saw him. I am grateful—oh, so very grateful—for that gift that was given me—the chance to tell him how much his friendship back in those difficult days meant to me. I had never properly thanked him for showing up, making me laugh, bringing pizza, picking up after himself, and being a beacon of light in my storm-tossed sea. That day at lunch I got to say all of those things. We hugged good-bye, and the last thing he said to me was “Let’s do this again soon.” I wish we had.

L to R, Rick, me, and Mr. Dennis Shore