House for Sale

There’s a big old house for sale in Morse Mill, Missouri, and it’s a very special house.

The house is 3800 square feet, and it’s located on 4.5 beautiful acres. But that’s not what makes it special.

It’s multi-storied and sits across the road from the Big River, so I’m betting there’s probably a gorgeous view of that wide, meandering river from the south-facing bedrooms on the upper floors. But that’s not what makes the house special.

Oh—speaking of bedrooms, there are six. And six bathrooms. Perfect for a bed & breakfast place, right? And the entire place has been fully renovated. (Check out the impressive photos here.) But that’s not what makes the house special, either.

A hundred years ago, this property was a bustling hotel, and it’s rumored that Charles Lindbergh once stayed there. The original hotel register still exists. But although that’s a fascinating tidbit from history, it is not what makes this place special.

What makes it special is that my great-grandmother stayed there. Well, okay, she didn’t actually stay as a guest. She worked there and helped run it for a year or so.

Why is that special? Because now that Bertha Gifford’s name has been associated with murderers and psychopaths and female serial killers, everyone seems to think that she has some reason to haunt this place simply because she worked there. The truth is, she wasn’t accused of poisoning anyone until she lived in Catawissa. Her trial was some twenty years or so after she worked at the hotel in Morse Mill. But a lot of folks seem determined to jump on the Crazy Bertha bandwagon, and it only took one or two of those folks to claim they’d seen or heard evidence of Bertha’s spirit at the hotel. Then everyone and his cousin wanted to do a paranormal investigation. (Yeah, go ahead, if you have a couple hours; just search “Morse Mill Hotel” on YouTube. Just…don’t believe everything you watch. Ugh.)

It doesn’t help that he-who-shall-remain-nameless has exploited the hell out of Bertha’s brief work stint there, claiming that she killed upwards of 40 people (what the actual you-know-what?) while working there, “most of them children.” (WHAT THE ACTUAL ????) None of what he has perpetuated is true. None of it. But it has brought people to the hotel in droves, which I suppose has lined his pockets with some change. Ugh ugh ugh.

But O Happy Day the hotel has finally been renovated and is now offered for sale. I can’t afford to buy it or I would. Dear Universe, I implore you, send someone kind and compassionate to take it over, to let it once again celebrate the living (famous or not), to be a tranquil resting place for weary travelers. Including me, maybe, next time I visit Missouri. Here’s hoping.

Before it served as a hotel, this was actually someone's home, built prior to the Civil War.

What it looks like now, for sale