Today’s blog post is brought to
you by my dear friends Lynn Miller and Catherine Higgins.
No, they’re not paying for
advertising. They just had the proper
incantation to get me writing again.
I haven’t been writing. (Did you notice?) Haven’t done a blog post in weeks. Haven’t worked on the YA novel that is
really, for all intents and purposes, finished, just needs some typos corrected
and it can go to print. Haven’t started
that memoir I intended to write this summer, the one about my six years on the
mountain. Haven’t even done much
journaling, despite having a good deal to write about after my recent trip to
Missouri.
Why?
Not that it matters, really, and I
take a great risk in being entirely honest here, but…. I’ve just been sad. That’s it.
Just sad. Just… unable to cast
off a shadow that’s been following me around since February. Some things happened back then… then some
more things. Then the Boston Marathon
bombings. Then some things in May and
June related to my day job and my other job (this one) and people who are
unkind, ungracious, uncouth, unscrupulous.
Next thing you know, I’m going to bed and waking up angry every
day. Not a good thing for a depressive
personality.
A few things have happened to
bring some sunshine into my life. I
spent a week in Missouri with my dearest friends in the world. I celebrated my birthday and my daughter’s
(same day) with the people I love most in the world, and My Daughter the Poet
wrote me a fabulous love-drenched poem for my birthday. To top
that all off, I saw some friends yesterday I hadn’t seen in quite a while—and they
asked, “What are you writing?” in such a way that made me believe they really
did want to read something I’d written.
That’s all I need, you see—just an audience. It’s when I begin to ask myself, What’s the
point? and I begin to doubt that anyone really ever reads my work that I start
to think… it might be easier just to sit in front of the TV or Facebook for
hours, using those ever-present opiates to numb the sadness for a while. But Lynn and Catherine asked. And I had to be honest and say my sadness was
the culprit… which made me realize how defeated I’d become… which made me angry—in
the right way.
So there, take that,
Sadness! I have buckled on my Super
Sadness Deflector Shield. I have drawn
forth my Sword of Dynamic Power (also known as The Pen). I have danced my eager fingertips across the
Almighty Symbols used to combat sadness and create peace and harmony. I have produced a document. I HAVE HEREBY BEEN A VICTOR, NOT A VICTIM.
OK, sorry for the shouting. Got a bit carried away there. Thanks for reading my words. I’m going to
saunter off and do a small victory dance… then get to work on that YA novel.
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