Can it be that I have not posted here since the end of October? So much has happened since then…. And I have been responding to all of it… on auto-pilot, to some degree.
My close friends know that I do not do well in large crowds. People… scare me. So when I feel the press of humanity, I tend to retreat, shut down, introvert. The same is true when a plethora of woes fall upon me; the creative aspect of my nature flees to the subconscious level, happily writing novels in there somewhere, while my conscious self deals with putting out fires.
Fire #1: Turns out the medical issue I was having was not an illness of the heart, but of the lungs. Finally, in November, I was diagnosed with (no doubt congenital) bronchiectasis. For most or all of my life, I have not had healthy lungs. Several factors in August caused them to go into overdrive trying to get enough oxygen, which made my heart pound. The symptoms, for the most part, are alleviated now, though the issue with my lungs is “permanent and irreversible,” as my pulmonary doctor so tersely described for me. In that moment, his diagnosis seemed like a death sentence. Now, a month down the road, it is something I can live with… because, well, I’ve been living with it all my life. I just didn’t know.
Fire #2: Exactly 24 hours after my diagnosis, I made an offer on a new home. This was made possible because
Fire #3: a very interesting (ß-------polite way of describing rude, selfish, boor) and affluent man made an offer on my cabin.
So basically since mid-November I have been (1) following doctor’s orders by walking the loop every day—rain, shine, snow, wind, darkness (at times)—and using medication; (2) filling out escrow papers; (3) FAXing escrow papers, loan documents, copies of any and all things to do with my income; (4) reading daily emails from my real estate agent about new demands from my buyer and about how no one else in this process seems to be as efficient or timely in their manner of completing tasks. ARRRRGGGGHHHH! Oh, and (5) singing. When I get really stressed, I sing, mostly as a means of calming myself, but also as an outlet… because if I didn’t sing, I would just sit down and cry out of frustration. We’ve been trying to explain to my buyer for six weeks that we must get escrow closed before winter because winter means snow and snow on the road means no moving trucks….
Forecast for today and Thursday? More snow.
But enough about me. It’s Christmas Eve!!!
May all the joy of the season surround you! (Can you hear me? I’m singing “Silent Night.”)