A Brief Reflection

 

This is what I know:

Sometimes it’s not the huge problems that get us down, it’s the accumulation of many successive small ones.

Also what I know:

One dog, one leash = easy peasy.

Two dogs, two leashes = a tad more challenging (especially if Dog Two is still learning how we do this, how we walk on one side of Mom, how we don’t pull out in front of her and suddenly slam on the brakes or back up into her because, while it may amuse the neighbors to see her fumble and nearly fall and dance around to regain her balance, it is not—it is never—the correct thing to do).

Two dogs, two leashes + one bag of poop = a bit of a struggle. Does the stinky bag go in my right hand, the one not holding the leashes? It’s 40 degrees, though, and I was planning on keeping at least one hand warm in my pocket (because adding gloves to this leash-training scenario—and I do have gloves—really warm, really expensive gloves—is just out of the question). Or do I try to hold two leashes and the stinky bag of poop in one hand?

Did I mention there is also wind? And that’s it 5:30a.m.? And dark? So yeah, it’s the pre-dawn hour, and we’ve had high winds for days, and the gusts are blowing Dog One’s little floppy ears up so that every few minutes one of them folds over, exposing her ear canal, and the wind chill makes it I-don’t-know-how-cold-but-way-way-too-cold and I know how my ears would feel (but I’m wearing a knit cap plus a hood), so I stop each time to flop her ear back down to protect her tiny ear canal. But we’re training, see? So that means this:

“Maya, wait. Good girl. Sit. Good girl. Maudie, sit. Wait. Good girl. No—wait. Good girl.”

When they are both seated and waiting and I have set the bag of poop down and fixed Maya’s ear and picked up the bag of poop and secured both leashes (with very cold, very stiff hands), we begin again. Moving forward.

Then Dog Two sees a bunny.

Sigh. I am grateful that I did know that this little cattle dog will chase any and all small animals running—or flying. Had I seen her in action, I would have dismissed her as untrustworthy around The Queen Feline, and I would not have adopted her. Whew. Ignorance is bliss.

Not in this moment, though. In this moment, as I try, with freezing fingers, to hold her and Dog One and the bag of poop, ignorance is… well, it’s clearly evident.

As the bunny goes into statue mode and Dog Two rears and lunges and jumps at the end of the leash like a Blue Marlin on the line, I whisper, sotto voce, “Maudie! No chase!” That’s as loud as I can correct her, of course, because I do like my neighbors and a few of them like me and it is 5:45a.m. by now.

When the bunny’s brain has finally shifted from “Freeze!” to “Flee!” and it dives under a bush, we can move forward again, Dog Two still hypervigilant, though, searching every yard for the rascally…. Well, you get the picture.

It’s about the time when I fully regain control, priding myself on being an adequate pack leader, Dog One and Dog Two trotting nicely along, the bag of poop swinging back and forth with their stride, my right hand just starting to warm up after the bunny encounter, that my nose starts to run.

If you’ve hiked or dined with me, you know this: If it’s cold, my nose runs. I am never without a pocket pack of tissues because, if the air is cold, if the AC in the restaurant is set below 72 degrees, my nose is running.

Here’s the existential dilemma in this scenario: How long would you keep walking before stopping to blow your nose? I mean, you see what this entails—both dogs stopping, sitting, the bag of poop set down again, a tissue extracted, the mission executed….

How long would you keep walking, snot beginning to flow to the edges of your nostrils? (Okay, sorry for the visual there, but can you feel how uncomfortable it is?)

I go another 30 feet, then with an exasperated sigh, it’s this again:

“Maya, wait. Sit. Good girl. Maudie… Maudie… no, sit. Sit. Wait. Good—no, sit. Wait.”

Finally, we’re moving forward again. For a half mile, down the back side of our loop, around the corner, and around the next, we are golden—the wind is at our backs, there are no bunnies, and my nose isn’t running.

Until we turn the corner for home. We are six houses from home when my nose begins to run again, and I am eyeing the distance, and considering my options, and that’s when we see—okay, I don’t, but Dog Two sees—a small animal dart across the street.

Whining and yipping, she bolts to the end of the leash, and because I didn’t see the critter, I wasn’t ready for it, and I almost—almost—drop the leash. Which in this case would have been very, very, very bad. Why? Because as soon as it all registers—the small animal running, the heavy scent in the air—I realize that the critter she wants to chase is a skunk.

Holy smokes.

In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Aslan tells Edmund, “We can never know what would have happened.”

No, we cannot. But I have a pretty good idea in this case what would have happened had I not held onto my silly little cattle dog. But I did. I held onto her all the way back to the house and in the door, whereupon I immediately grabbed a tissue and blew my nose and exhaled loudly in enormous relief as I unleashed my hounds.

This is what I know:

Nine times out of ten, at least in my life, expecting a task or some endeavor to be routine will not be so; it will be fraught with small challenges that need to be faced and dealt with in the moment.

What I also know:

It’s all about moving forward. Unless you see a skunk in the road up ahead. In which case, it might better serve to pause and consider your options. But when the danger has passed, keep moving forward.

Guest post: Writing as Legacy

I recently had lunch with Donna McCrohan Rosenthal, past president of the California Writers Club (CWC) and also past president of the East Sierra branch of the CWC. She and I have both been at this a long time, both began writing and publishing decades ago. As we chatted, she shared with me a short piece she had written for the SoCal Writers Showcase, an online publication that presents work from members of CWC.

Donna's piece was lovely in its sentiment, and beyond that it honored some of our old friends who have passed away. I asked her if I could share it here, to further bring attention to them and to the Showcase. She graciously agreed. The remainder of this post is what Donna wrote. I couldn't agree with her more:

We decided from Showcase’s inception that we would occasionally include pieces by colleagues I like to think of as “active deceased” – those who live in our hearts and minds, who advanced the mission of the CWC on every level, and so meaningfully whose written words stay with us long after these dear friends have gone.

 

I recently had the privilege of posting San Fernando Branch Monte Swann’s thoroughly engaging “Ars Gratia Artis” about his frequent forays of sneaking onto the MGM lot as a boy, Orange County Branch Jeanette Fratto’s clever and savvy “Night Duty” about an ambivalent detective, and High Desert’s inimitable Bob Isbill’s “The Importance of Volunteerism” which we should all read and take to heart.

Putting Monte, Jeanette, and Bob up on our site, I felt such elation in the fact that writing makes us immortal. Their earthly presence has left us, but their written words never will. I sensed them smiling to see this rebirth of appreciation of their talent as they spin their tales again to entertain more people they hadn’t reached before. What a wonderful thing. A gift that goes on through time.

Don’t we write for permanence? Otherwise, we could just sit someone down and talk.

Showcase can post the active deceased’s legacies. Branch newsletters can reprint them, too, and we can read them at open mic meetings, their inner beauty brightening our camaraderie just like it used to. When their stories survive, they survive in their stories.

But even if you’ve never published anything anywhere, don’t overlook recording family memories and histories. They’ll endure through generations if not through the ages.

How to Break Up with Your Internet Service Provider

 

Last week I finally--FINALLY--signed on with a new Internet Service Provider (hereafter known as the NISP). It took two tries. After receiving a "special offer" in the mail--okay, after receiving a hundred or so over the past couple years--I decided to give them a try. This was after repeated attempts to get my old Internet Service Provider (hereinafter known as OISP) to lower my bill by removing the monthly charge for a landline. ("Of course! I can help you with that!" one hour later: "I'm sorry, we're unable to separate your phone from your internet....")

Old monthly bill with OISP: $139

Current monthly bill with NISP: $41

(Boy howdy, that $41 was hard fought and has it's own story that involves me hanging up on the first representative I spoke to--after being on the phone with him berating me for half an hour. You don't need me to explain to you that's not the way to make a sale. Sheesh.)

ANYWAY, the only thing I had left to do was break up with my OISP. You know, call and cancel my service.

If you've done this before, you know that it should be a short phone call. "Yes, thank you, I just need to cancel my service...." But it's not. Because as soon as you say that--in the nicest way possible--you're asked why, and then you're directed to the "loyalty" representative who promises to lower your bill, wash your car, walk your dog, and maybe give you a back massage if you'll only stay with the company that has the "best" customer service and support. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

My NISP system was installed last week by a very happy dude named Michael who had a great work ethic and got it all handled in an hour, including pulling the ladder off his truck, climbing around in the garage, and other time-consuming tasks. It is indeed "faster and more reliable" (so far). I waved goodbye to Michael and my next thought was, How do I cancel my OISP without wasting time with the loyalty people? So (finally), here's how it went:

OISP: Good morning! This is Billie! How can I help you today?

Me: Good morning, Billie! I need to cancel my service today.

(After some preliminary identification verification)

OISP: Do you mind if I ask why you're canceling your service?

Me: I don't mind at all! I'm moving to Australia!

OISP: Australia! Wow! That's... a long way to move. What made you decide to move to Australia, if you don't mind me asking.

Me: I don't mind at all! My granddaughter just got a recording contract there, and since she's rather young, her parents were concerned about her moving so far away by herself. I'm footloose and fancy free, so I offered to go with her and live over there for a year or two. Should be fun!

(What was really fun was listening to Billie tap away on her computer, listing, I assume, the customer's reason for canceling service. She assured me right away that she could help me, waited for her computer to tabulate a closing bill, told me what that total would be and that my service would be canceled by the following day.)

OISP: Before I let you go, Ms. Murphy, do you mind giving me your granddaughter's name so I can look forward to hearing some of her music in the future?

Me: Oh, of course! You can listen to some of it now. She's done a few recordings and they're on YouTube. Look her up! Her name is Ellie Blue.

OISP: I'm writing that down....

The entire phone call took less than ten minutes. And yes, that last bit is true--my granddaughter's stage name is Ellie Blue, and she can be found singing on YouTube. (Note: If one intends to prevaricate, one should always have at least part of one's story based in fact.)

In all seriousness, I realize that Billie, the OISP, is out there working, hoping her day doesn't get too crazy with angry customers, hoping she can pay her bills or feed her kids or support herself through college or whatever it is she needs to do with her paycheck. I didn't want to waste her time anymore than I wanted to waste mine. Nor did I want to engage in that toxic back-and-forth that is sometimes required in these situations. So I just came up with a story that made it easier for her to do her job, and for me to do mine... which was get back to sitting at this laptop, making up stories. So there ya go.

The Care and Feeding of

 

Photo courtesy of Jeanette Ragland

If anything happens to me—and it won’t, I promise—but if anything happens to me, please take gentle loving care of Maya.

Let her stay in whatever safe place she finds, even if she stays there for hours. She will love that. Just curling up. Safe.

Take her for a walk every single day, even if it rains a little. (She has a raincoat.) She will hate that. The world, after all, is a very scary place.

But if you can, walk her before the first rays of the sun bring with them activity and noise and human interaction. Walk in the stillness of almost-dawn. She will love that.

It’s a chore, I know, but please clip her little nails once a month. If you’re slow and gentle, she will let you. She will hate every minute of it. But she will let you.

Once a week—or maybe twice, if you don’t mind—please give her two small pieces of cheese. Or part of your fried egg. (No pepper, please.) She will love this.

Once a year—even though she’s almost always inside and never exposed and no one will ever come looking to see if she’s had her rabies shots—please take her to a soft-spoken, slow-moving vet to get her vaccinations. She will hate being touched by a stranger, just as most of us do.

On occasion, if you can, please take her out to the hills for her walk. Use the long lead so she can enjoy the sensation of running free, even though you will be on the other end, hurrying to keep up as she trots along the trail with wild abandon, unfazed by the scent of coyotes or bobcats. She will love this.

If visitors or repair persons must come, please shut her away in her safe place, preferably behind a closed door, preferably with a large, soft blanket to tunnel under, preferably with Charlie, her favorite stuffie. She will hate the intrusion, and maybe she’ll be reluctant to eat her dinner for many hours afterward. But I promise by the next morning, she’ll be okay again. If she ever misses breakfast, you will know that something is terribly wrong.

At night, before she goes to sleep, please rub behind her ears and massage her back and stroke her beautiful face and head. She will lie still, and you will never see evidence that she loves this, but she does love this. You will never see evidence that she loves you. But she does. Trust me. If you feed her treats and keep her safe, she will love you, even if you do nothing else for her.

And, if you’ll indulge me, I have just one more request for her if something should happen to me. Which it won’t. I promise. But if somehow it did…. Please keep her with her best friend, Maudie. Because as humans, we can keep her safe and keep her healthy, and she will love that. But for her to be truly joyful in the way only dogs can be, she will need her bestie by her side to let her know that she never has to face the scary world alone again.

And isn't that what we all need, really? After we are fed and safe? A friend to assure us that we will never have to face the scary stuff alone. We are fortunate, we are blessed, we are downright joyful as only humans can be, when we have a bestie like that.

Three trees and a dog

 

I park in the lot above the meadow in Bogart Park. It’s early and cool. As I step out of the truck, the quiet settles on me like the light embrace of a beloved friend.

This is how I know it’s October: The slight bite in the air. The scent of wood smoke that drifts down and hovers in the meadow. The tone of the leaves rustling; soft and lilting in mid-summer when the leaves are new and tender, it is a crisper sound now, as they dry and die and fall.

Maya alights from the truck eagerly, her nostrils twitching. She knows where we are, where the trail begins, and she heads that way at a trot before I’ve barely had time to close the door and hit the lock button.

Finding the trail, she pulls to the end of her twenty-foot leash and takes the rolling hills as if they are red-carpet flat, while I laugh, struggling to keep up as I tell her, “My, slow down, honey.” But she is thrilled to be out here, so I let her charge on, and my tempo increases as my boots kick up dust.

She slows when we reach the big hill. She doesn’t like this trail because she cannot see around the corners as we wind up and around on the climb, but she comes along beside me as I reassure her. Halfway up, she veers over to a single-track trail, a deer path that she has asked so many times to follow. Every other time, I have said no. Today I tell her, “Okay, My, let’s go your way,” and once again she is charging along. I gently slow her down; I have to watch her feet and mine for rattlesnakes, as it is still warm enough to see them out.

I know where this trail goes, and I know it will double the distance of our walk today. But it is a trail I have taken before with Sgt. Thomas Tibbs, and one I have loved—though not chosen—for several years.

We wind down to the far side of the hill, Maya surprised to find the trail opening up and skirting an expansive meadow. She glances often to our right where she can hear the penned sheep that sometimes graze here.

Then we come to the first tree.

 

A fire in the fall of 2016 burned much of this side of the hill down to rubble. Black ash is still visible in the soil along the trail. But look at these oak trees. Strong. Steadfast. Beautiful. How old is this one? How many fires have threatened it? Still it endures.

The last oak we pass before taking the steep trail back up toward the parking lot boasts a picnic table beneath it. Maya waits patiently as I snap a photo… and I imagine myself sitting down with a book or a notebook and a snack, whiling away a few hours in the shade… in the quiet… in the solitude.

 

Maya does that all-over dog shake—as Frost’s “little horse” did when the poet stopped to watch the snow fall in a similarly hushed and serene place.

I, too, have promises to keep.

So we tackle the last arduous climb, then pause briefly in the shade to catch our breath before heading back to the truck and civilization.

There is another way I mark the path into October, and that is by the shorter days, the diminishing light. At one time, October was my least favorite month. As the darkness came on, my spirits would flag, my anxiety rise, often leaving me depressed until January.

No more. The cure for darkness is light. So I will be out here as often as I can be, letting Maya charge up the trail (as long as it’s safe to do so), pushing myself to walk farther each time, to take the longer route, the steeper trail, to hear my heartbeat pounding, to know that I am still alive, still surviving, and will be when the light returns once again in spring.

A Friendly Murder

 

No worries, dear Reader; I refer in my title to a “murder” of crows.

It all began when I read about an experiment conducted with crows in order to determine whether they would recognize individual humans. Not only can they distinguish one human from another, they also, it turns out, are capable of holding a grudge for a prolonged period of time. You can see the results of that experiment in this short video here.

Following that, I found another video which demonstrated how crows either believe in a barter system or are simply and sincerely grateful when humans offer gifts. In return for food, they will eventually offer gifts. You can see that video here.

Jenny the Cat perches on my kitchen table every morning (after her early morning patrol of the perimeter of the property), watching the “big squawky birds” and making that adorable chittering sound cats make when they watch birds. The crows come by every morning about 7:00a.m. to eat the snails and slugs from my neighbor’s yard, and we watch them hop around, squabble over territory, and steal from each other, shouting epithets in crow-speak. I decided, after seeing the two above mentioned videos, to enhance the entertainment value for Jenny and possibly make a crow friend or two myself by feeding them peanuts. (I purchased peanuts in the shell from Chewy.com that are intended for animal consumption. Never feed your local wildlife human food, please.)

That’s when the fun began.

It only took one day and the tossing out of a couple peanuts for a couple of crows to become curious, swooping down and strutting around the peanuts, tilting their heads and eyeing them suspiciously. Then one guy grabbed a goober, flew up to the neighbor’s rooftop, and began pecking away.

The next morning, both crows were there at 7:00 sharp, waiting. I threw down a couple peanuts and retreated to the house. They flew down, each taking one, and flew off to eat them.

That was three months ago.

Now every morning there are no less than ten crows waiting—not so patiently—at 7:00.

"Caw! Caw! Caw!"

It’s like Trick or Treat; I count the number of crows and dole out that same number of peanuts, lobbing them out into the street, then returning to the house to watch the birds at the buffet.

So far, not a single one of those ungrateful bastards has left me a gift. However, Jenny’s enjoyment at their antics nearly matches mine. Here’s what I’ve seen:

Like humans, there is always a bold leader, first to fly down from his perch on the street light and grab a peanut. Conversely, there is the last guy, a small crow who looks on nervously, not sure if it’s safe to descend, often waiting until it’s too late to get a peanut. Because there is the one guy who is never content with just one. He picks up one in his beak, then hops quickly to another peanut, trying to cram that one in as well, often dropping the first peanut in the process. Most days, he is not satisfied until he has somehow shoved two in this beak, at which point he flies to the peak of the neighbor’s roof and drops them, frequently losing the extra one as it rolls down onto the ground. Greed is not an attractive look for anyone, and “Hey, Pal,” I tell him, “you can’t take it with you, can you?”

At any rate, I am still waiting for the day when I will come out in the morning, my fist full of peanuts, to find one of them has left me some shiny trinket. (I guess that’s my own form of greediness, isn’t it?) When that happens, you’ll be the first to know. After Jenny, of course.

Regarding Dolly: An Update

 

Just a quick post here to honor a dog and her human.

Three years ago, in August of 2021, I took my neighbor Linda on a day-long jaunt to find a dog. Her beloved pug mix, Abbey, had passed away some months before, and she and her husband were feeling the absence of a dog’s magic in the house. You know, that quality they have of somehow brightening everyone’s spirits. So Linda asked me to help her find the right dog.

We went looking for “a younger dog” and came home with a fourteen-year-old. Yep. You can read that story by clicking here.

Linda and her husband Bob took that old dog that had been uncared for (and unbathed) for so long, and they scrubbed her up, brushed her out, gave her warm, soft bedding, and started feeding her cooked chicken breasts every night. I kid you not. (Thus the roly-poly Dolly you see in the photo above.) I remember Linda telling me at the time that they were committed to giving her a great life for whatever time she had left, whether that be days or weeks or months or—if they were lucky—years.

And years it was. Nearly three exactly. Dolly passed away this week at the age of seventeen. Seventeen, y’all! And that dog…. Boy howdy, was she a happy girl in her last days! Oh, not at first. She was quiet and reserved and withdrawn (and very wary of Bob). But her humans were patient. And they had chicken. And daily love and encouragement. And that dog finally began to respond, so much so that she found her happy feet. I will never forget stopping by one day and Linda telling me: “Every evening after dinner she goes into the den and dances around.” Dolly might have been too old to do zoomies, but she was never too old to dance.

A good lesson for all of us who are easing into the silver muzzle stage of life, I reckon.